By Tina Lam 

Growing up, my mom would always say, “When in doubt, ask others for help.” At the time, I brushed it off, thinking that the key to success meant figuring everything out on my own. As I sat in the living room, intensely watching the network news on our big flat-screen TV, all that filled my vision were the flashing images of self-made billionaires. These were the types of people I admired, the kind of people I aspired to be, the ones highly praised by the world. 

I had this persistent belief that success was solely about what you accomplish on your own, not about the help you receive from others. So I thought, if even these successful entrepreneurs didn’t need help, why would I? 

That was until Covid-19 struck. This pandemic not only flipped my whole world upside down. It also forced me to confront my hardened beliefs about the isolation that came with success. With school becoming remote, the small interactions that I relied on, even if they were brief moments during lunch with my friends, were gone. Without the distraction of school, the same “self-made” mentality that was previously ingrained into my entire being no longer held any weight, and it became clear that I couldn’t handle these new changes alone. 

That was until I discovered video games. During the pandemic, I found myself naturally isolating from others and became trapped in an endless cycle of being glued to my phone. I was struggling with social anxiety, had little to no friends, and was at the lowest point in my life when an former classmate reached out to me with a simple question, ”Do you want to play Roblox with me?” 

It was my first time playing Roblox, and the first time I video-chatted with a friend. In the past, I never had an interest in online games, and had never really considered video games as an option for connection before. 

But I was soon proven wrong. Although we later lost touch, and I thought that would be the end of my Roblox experience, I unexpectedly found myself reaching for my iPad again. I couldn’t seem to control my fingers as they typed in my password to log into Roblox. I scrolled through the endless options of games on the “recommended for you” page – until one caught my attention. 

Royale High is a dress-up game meant for kids my age. Eventually, I branched off into games like Arsenal (a first-person shooter game with diverse weapons and game modes), Murder Mystery (a strategic game where players take on the roles of innocents, sheriffs, or murderers and are assigned with the task of uncovering the identity of the killer), and Flee the Facility (a thrilling and suspenseful game where players work together to escape the hunter/beast while hacking computers to unlock exits that let them escape the facility). I was also playing games like Fortnite and Minecraft on the side. 

What all of these games had in common was the fact that they were multiplayer games where you could chat with others online without them knowing your true identity in the real world. In Roblox, I could talk to people without holding back. I could say whatever was on my mind without the fear of being judged or seen as an outcast. These conversations ranged from silly things, like complaining about game mechanics, to deeper topics, like my life at home and how I was doing in school. Although I never shared specific details about my personal life, it still felt like I was seen by my online friends, as they often shared the same struggles. In a way, video games brought us together, and it was the freedom of being able to talk openly that helped loosen the grip my social anxiety had on me. I could make friends and have fun in virtual worlds where societal expectations from the real world had no real meaning. Online games became a refuge for me. They became a place where I could be myself, express my feelings openly, and just be able to connect with others stuck at home, just like me. 

The weight that I was burdened with felt much lighter as I played these games. They made me feel like I wasn’t alone anymore. Even though I couldn’t see the faces of the people behind the avatars, I still felt the connection that was there. I felt their presence, feelings, and appreciated the support they offered. For instance, we shared the same feelings of excitement whenever a new update was launched in Roblox or when we won a game in Fortnite. These experiences of support and community helped me realize how even the most successful people occasionally need help from time to time and none get there on their own. Behind every successful entrepreneur is a group of people who offer support and guide them through their journey. 

In light of this, I began to understand that it isn’t wrong to ask for help: asking for help is a part of life and can be a sign of growth. Through these online games, I learned how connections are built from the willingness to reach out. I bet this is the same way the heads of game companies build their businesses. Just as Sam Lake explained to our interns, the most creative and successful game creators are willing to reach out and accept criticism from others to depend on a group of people who  aid in their success. I wasted so many years thinking that success would only come from doing everything myself, but never stopped to realize how it was the connections I made and my willingness to rely on others. 

Now, I understand that the path to success is a rocky journey that nobody can get through alone. Ironically, it was gaming that opened my eyes to this. Through the online interactions in Roblox, Fortnite, and Minecraft, I came to realize that true success isn’t just about individual effort, it’s about teamwork, trust, and the connections we build along the way.

Tina Lam, the Circle’s newest intern, is a sophomore at Baruch College Campus High School.

---